Story Time: Most Embarrassing Moment

So, I was watching a tv show today where people talked about their most embarrassing moments and it got me thinking.  I decided to write a post about my Ultimate Christmas Wish List.  But I'm going to save that for later.  For now, I'll just tell you all about my most embarrassing moment.

It was a warm July afternoon back in 2003 and I was playing for the struggling Hanover Indians.  The coach's name was Ken Tocci, who also happened to be my JV coach a couple years back.  He loved me and let me do whatever I want, so even though I'm a pitcher, when I asked him if I could play the outfield, he of course said, "Why sure you can! By the way, you have stunning features and impeccable style."  I was a bit surprised by the spontaneous compliment but who am I to argue with him.  So I ran out to the outfield and took my position.  I make it until the 3rd inning without a ball getting hit to me and then it happened.

The opposing first baseman takes a swing and smokes a line drive my way.  I start running back and to my left, then I realize the ball is now going to my right.  Now since I took gymnastics for 2 years when I was 3 and a hip hop dance class when I was 12, I figured I could make this simple spin to my right look graceful.  I couldn't have been more wrong.  In fact, I made it look the complete opposite of graceful, which according to Microsoft Word is clumsy.  Ya, I guess that's pretty accurate.  So I spin to my left, and as I do, my giant size 13 feet decide to get into a slapping fest and I tumble face first to the ground.  It didn't end up being too bad though because the ball bounced under the fence so he only got a double.  This is where it took a turn for the worst.

The ball had rolled under the fence and it as just a few inches behind it.  Now as far as the fence is concerned, its one of those plastic portable fences with a bunch of different sections connected to one another.  So since the ball was so close to the fence, I decided to just reach over and grab it instead of climbing the fence.  I bend over the fence and reach and reach and reach and I'm about 2 inches away.  I decided to lean on the fence a little more to get within reach.  Just as I get my hand on the ball, two sections of the fence give way.  It was like it slow motion, I'm thinking "Oh come one! How did I not see this coming!" So I hit the ground and I try to get up immediately.  That didn't happen.  Apparently when the fence landed on the ground, the top part was about 6 inches off the ground.  So every time I tried to push up on the fence to stand up, I would just push it back to the ground and I wouldn't go anywhere.  After about 20 seconds of struggling to stand up, I swallow my pride and roll off of the fence on to solid ground where I can finally stand up.  I pick up the ball and throw it in but no one really moved.  I felt like I was Smalls in the Sandlot after running the ball into the pitcher because everyone was just standing around jaws wide open, confused and horrified with what just happened.