So I started this blog about 2 months ago and since then I've learned of a new feeling or sensation as you will. It's called a blogasm. I have a blogasm whenever something happens that I instantly know I'm going to blog about. Like when that girl tried to take my drink and then yelled at me for not giving it to her, blogasm. Or when I saw that guy stumble forward, knock his sunglasses off and then step on them. Double blogasm. Anyway, I had that just a few minutes ago. (technically, its been a couple weeks since i wrote this. watever)
I was sitting on my couch reenacting the Civil War in my head when I heard a knock at the door. I go up stairs and find a very attractive blonde girl standing there. Maybe my age, maybe a little younger. I think to myself, "not a bad way to start the day." Then I thought to myself, "Adam, it's unfortunate that you have a rug burn on my forehead that looks exactly like a huge, huge pimple." Anyway, I got past that and I was interested to see what she had to say.
I should've been tipped off that something was wrong when she introduced me to "her friend" who was about 45 years old. Then she said those words that makes you want to punch everyone in the face, "How are you today?" No, not those words. "We're spreading the good word of the Bible." Oh god. Really? Come on. Well being the nice guy that I am, I decided to let her finish her little pitch. (I really just liked looking at her but I don't want God to know that. In case you didn't know it, God can't read things in parentheses, so he doesn't know I'm saying this.)
Apparently, this girl wanted to talk about the end of the world and was throwing out all these facts about current events. And she was like I'm sure you've heard about the earthquake in Haiti and the fighting in some random country I don't remember. I just shook my head in agreement. I didn't think it was necessary to inform her that I don't have time for world news because I got the new Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. I didn't mind listening for the first 30 seconds but come on! Get to the point. I mean, I'm standing here in sweat pants, a purple youth basketball shirt and hair sticking in every direction. Clearly, I have places to go and things to do, so let me be on my way. Finally, she wrapped it up by quoting the Bible and ensuring me that the Earth will be here forever. That really comforted me. I was convinced that the sun was going to blow up and the world was going to end in 2 million years which would put a serious damper on my weekend in the year 2002010, but I feel better now.
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