That Didn't Just Happen

Okay, this is just mind blowing.  I walk into the bathroom at Panera Bread, and this guy walks in like 10 seconds later.  I'm standing there going number 1 and he says "Oh! You're hats on backwards."  Well ok? That's weird and it really doesn't warrant a response so I didn't say anything.  He walks into the stall and continues, "You know, they're going to bring the draft back according to the pentagon and guys who wear there hats backwards are going to go first because the Taliban won't know if you're coming or going."

Seriously?  If it wasn't already awkward enough, the guy lets out a monster fart followed by a grunt.  WHAT! This is against all bathroom protocol.  No talking to strangers while doing number 2.  Then he went on to tell me about how when he was in Vietnam, he would take a dead "Gook" and put a helmet on him and move him around to draw enemy fire.  WHAT THE FUCK! I don't even know this guy and he's dropping racial bombs all over the place.  Not cool man.

I just didn't know what was going on.  He goes on to talk about how he interviewed guys from WWII about the Nazis they were fighting.  Mind you, this whole time, I haven't said anything in response to him.  Then another guy walks in to the bathroom and this guy is still going on about Nazis!

Awesome, now this new guy thinks that I have been involved in a conversation about killing Nazis.  I look at him and give like a , "I dunno what this guy is talking about."  He just stared at me.  Well this is even more awkward now.  I just got the hell out of there.

After I left, I wondered if that guy just kept talking to his new bathroom partner.  I bet he did.