Riduculous Story of the Year: Elbow Deep in Trouble

So this past weekend, I was down in Washington, D.C. for a sports industry conference with 9 of my classmates.  We stayed at our friend's mother's house and let me just say, this house was very nice.  There were a couple Lexi (plural for Lexus) in the drive way, nice furniture, flat screens, classy everything everywhere.  So, we did our best to not mess this place up.  We were able to do that for about 8 hours, then it all went to hell.

We had our alarms set for 6 am Friday morning so we could get ready for the conference.  At 6:03 am, my friend, Shmevan runs into the room all of the guys slept in and says, "I need a plunger!"  You just know, any day that starts off like that is either going to be the best day ever or the worst day ever, depending on if you're the person in need of a plunger or not.

So Shmevan goes upstairs and asks for a plunger, he comes back down and goes to down on the toilet... 5 minutes later and there still is a brown stew sitting in the toilet almost pouring over the rim.  So the plunger isn't working and this problem needs to be fixed.   What's the next logical move?  Reach in bare handed and see if you can clear the mess yourself.  That's exactly what Shmevan did.  Turns out this was a monster dookie.  So Shmevan now has a ridiculously clogged toilet and two arms that are speckled with poopie up to his elbow.  GROSS.

Shmevan washes his hands and arms and waits for his next great idea to pop into his head. Boom! And there it is!  He proceeds to grab two empty bottles of water and starts filling them up with toilet juice and pouring it into the sink.  This just keeps getting better.  I just keep popping my head in to A) see his lack of progress B) make fun of him C) watch the nervous sweat pour down his face.  So now we've got a clogged toilet with no water in it, a sink that just had shit in it, and Shmevans horricly gross arms.  How could this get any better?

How about flushing the toilet and not shutting off the water before it overflows.  Perfect!  So, now there's putrid brown water pouring over the edge of the toilet that Shmevan is now cleaning up with a borrowed towel.  What else could Shmevan possibly ruin in this house?

So eventually, Shmevan gets the water back down to the bottom of the bowl.  He shuts off the water and decides to leave it like this until we get back with a new plunger (AKA 14 hours from now after the conference.)

So the end of the day rolls around, we've all been having a good laugh about it until the girl's mom, whose house we're staying at, calls our friend and says, "I see you guys had some toilet problems this morning."  She goes on to tell her that the toilet overflowed again without anyone around and now all of the carpeting outside the bathroom got wet.  Luckily she dried the poop soup soaked carpet with some space heaters and I'm assuming 4 cans of Febreeze.

Shmevan eventually shows up 4 hours later with a new plunger in his gross hands.  Bottom Line: If you've got ridiculously thick toilet paper and thin plumbing,  do not let Shmevan Shmolesh in your house.