You Won't Let Me Leave?

A while back, I went to a bar in Boston called the Liquor Store.  That night we got pretty wasted and of course I had to use the bathroom at the bar.  So I walk in, spot a urinal and go to town on that bad boy.  This was a solid pee.  You know, the kind that sends a shiver up your spine when you're done. Anyway, I finish up, zip up my pants and turn to walk out the door.

I'm half way out the door when this hand lands on my shoulder and jerks me back.  It was the bathroom attendant, who then started yelling at me.  "Hey man! You can't just make a mess like this and leave!"  I didn't know what he was talking about.  I was like "Woah, what are you talking about?  I didn't do anything!"  So he's like, "Come on man! Look at the floor, there's piss everywhere."  To which I reply, "Nah, that wasn't me!"

So the guy says back to me, "Really? Look at your shoes."  Before I even look down, I know I'm screwed.  I peer down at my shoes and of course they're soaking wet in what I can only assume is my own urine.  So it turns out this guy was right.  Instead of taking an amazing piss into a urinal, I took an amazing piss all over my nicest pair of shoes, (which I still wear.)  

I figured, I wanted to make up for the trouble I caused him, so I tossed the guy a dollar in the tip jar and told him if it was still a mess at the end of the night, I'd clean it up.  I didn't.  Boom!