I Think He's Hitting On Me

This story actually took place about 2 months ago and I've just been putting off writing it for some reason.  I dunno why but I'm mad because now I can't remember every detail.  Stupid iziot!

Anyway, so we were out at the Monkey Bar, where it seems a lot of my stories originate.  So we headed to the back to the dance floor and since everyone was still obsessing over the Jersey Shore, I decided to beat up the beat.  You know how it goes.  So I started the fist pumps down low like any guy knows to, worked it up to waist level, and then went full blast, double fist pump action.  I felt like I was beating the shit out of Shaq.  (Shaquille O'Neil - he's a 7 foot basketball player in the NBA (National Basketball Association))

Next thing I know, this random ass dudester comes up to me and goes, "That's not how you fist pump! This is!"  He proceeds to beat up the beat like a little pussy ass chump.  I stepped in to set the record straight and went to school on that idiot.  I was practically triple fist pumping.  Me and my friends all had a good laugh and tried to start a dance circle like always.  But then it got a little weird.  That same iziot came up to me and was like, "I bet you can't do this!"

Right then I should have known it was getting out of hand.  This kid turns around, slaps the floor and starts backing his ass into me.  Woah! Okay... I should definitely just walk away because that was weird.  Did I do that?  Of course not.  I proceeded to slap the floor and do exactly what he did.  Then it just turned into some ridiculous dance circle dance battle.  I felt like Omarion. 

I kept up for a few moves, throwin out the classics, burnin up the dance floor.  But then it got corny.  His friends start pulling out moves like the Shopping Cart and the Lawn Mower.  What do I look like? Some sort of bush league amateur?  I'm here to dance, not entertain.  So I let this Simon Birch Look-a-likes steal the dance circle.

P.S. Not sure if you remember the girl I wrote about in The Best Pick Up Line, who told me she got her shoes at her porn shoot, but either way, I saw this girl at the bar that night.  And decided to tell all of her friends that she claims to be a porn star.  I don't remember this but apparently she tried to fight me.  Me? Of all people.  Come on!

P.P.S I also learned that night that if someone drops a drink on the floor, you should expect to see me moonwalking all over the wet floor for the next 5 minutes.