Showering: Apparently Some People Think Its Evil

So I was at a bar the other night and I witnessed something absolutely amazing.  There was a kid there who, apparently, has somehow gone his entire life without showering once.  It really is mind boggling.  How can a person go without showering for so long that his stench dominates an entire room?  Even more mind boggling, how can he have friends?

Like seriously? Its friggin unbelievably! Now I know I've written about horrifying body odor before but I just had to get it out there again.  This is more of a plea to Stinky McStinkerstein's friends than it is to the actually Stinkifier.  It's literally impossible to stand within 15 feet of this kid without being given the body odor's version of the Razors Edge.  Hey Chico, you smell!

I'm not even really sure what's more embarrassing.  That you smell so bad that there are literally green squiggly lines coming from your body or being friends with that person.  If you're friend just absolutely wreaks and is ruining the night for an entire bar, it's your duty and responsibility to say something to him.

The problem with this whole situation is that it's not an easy situation to rectify.  You can't just say, "Hey, Captain Sewage, go shower."  Because that won't fix the problem.  Since he's gone his whole life without showering, it's safe to say that his clothes are just as putrid as his body at this point.  This kid not only needs to take a shower and a tomato bath, but he must also do a complete overhaul of his entire wardrobe.  Either burn all of his clothes and buy new ones, or wash all of his clothes at least 3 times each.

Bottom Line: Stop Smelling, Start Showering.  Or as I like to call it, you need to do a 4S. (Get it, Stop Smelling, Start Showering. Boom!)