Average Night I Guess

Oh boy! I love Thursdays.  Every week for our graduate program we have TNO, or Thursday Night Out and we go to a different bar in Amherst and blah blah blah.  Anyway, for most people, this past Thursday would have been a absolutely ridiculous night but for me, I'd say it was pretty average, if you couldn't tell from my title.

So first things first, how did this night get started? Well, recently I decided I was going to start drinking wine and become culture and sophisticated and all that dumb shit.  So what did I do?  I went out and bought 8 bottles of wine (from the 2 for $10 rack) and downed a bottle and a half.

As soon as I got to the bar I enjoyed a few beers and I signed myself up to do No Diggity by Blackstreet which I absolutely killed.  Then things got a little fuzzy.  I remembered singing a few more times.  Turns out, a few more was actually like 6 or 7.  I remember at one point singing a song where I was pretty much just screaming at the top of my lungs but I'm pretty sure I killed that song too.  Then as my friend sang Hero, I enjoyed a middle school style slow dance in the middle of a practically empty bar. 

When I woke up in the morning, I felt these weird things on my legs and so I removed the covers.  What did I find?  About 15 candy corn strewn about in my bed.  No big deal.  I get out of bed and walk over to my dresser and find a bottle of green tobasco sauce.  No cap, just the bottle. And why would I want a cap?  How was i going to cover my jeans and shoes in tobasco sauce if it had a cover on it?

Next, I decided to check my phone and see what ridiculous things I had texted people while in this common state of inebriation.  And boy oh boy did I find a winner.  At one point in my textual ramblings, I dropped the following lines.

"All ants should consider you an ant superstar."   What the fuck does that mean?!

"Lemme buy you breakfast tomorrow, not because of politics but because we're friends."  I seriously don't know what was happening to me but apparently wine makes me the dumbest person ever.  Why would I ever buy someone breakfast because of politics in the first place?

So to recap

1. 1.5 bottles of wine
2. 5 or 6 beers
3. 7 or 8 songs of karaoke
4. Ant Superstar
5. Candy corn bed
6. Tobasco jeans and sneakers.

Like I said, an average night.