Happy Birthday WHAT!!

Well well well!!! Its been 1 mother frankin year! Holy shit. Can you believe it? I sure as hell can't.  It really is absurd.  I still remember the day I started it, my best friend told me I would be bored with this in 3 weeks.  Well best friend, you can eat my stinky archives bitch! 

What a great year it has been.  Here's a quick recap:

1. 102 Followers
2. 77 FBook Likes
3. Over 27,000 Hits
4. Hits in 49 States (Fuck You North Dakota!)
5. Hits in 67 Countries
6. Several Prizes Won ($10, WHAT T-Shirt, 6 Pack of Beer)
7. 0 Prizes Paid Out
8. $100 raised toward the Triangle Head Tattoo

Wow.  I know, right?! Well, anyway, I was actually in a bar in NYC when it officially became the one year anniversary of WHAT.  Unfortunately, I wasn't in the best mood when this great moment happened and here's why.

So we were at the bar and this girl walks in with skin tight leather pants and I turned to my friend and said, "That was hottest girl in the world."  Before he saw her she went up stairs so we decided to wander up there and find her.  As we were walking to the stairs, we overheard another guy turn to his friend and say, "Holy shit, that was the hottest girl in the world."  I turned to him and said I know! and he joined us on the quest upstairs.

So we get up there and we're walking behind her when I bump into some girl.  I turn to her and say sorry, and she says, "Landscaper!"  I wasn't sure if that was how you say it's ok in New York so I was like huh? And she was like "Landscaper!"  Again, I was like I dunno what you're talking about.  Then she did it.  She said to me "You look like you mow lawns!"  HOLY FUCK!

I wouldn't believe if I hadn't heard it with my own earballs.  I couldn't even comprehend it.  There I am, sports coat on, lookin sexy, wearing cuff links for God's sake, and she calls me a fucking landscaper.  Well, I don't take shit like that, so I fucking drilled her in the face.  Literally, knocked her the fuck out.  I fuckin Snookied her. 

Not really, but I should've!  If she hadn't been a giant oaf, whose make up was all smeared, I would've let loose on her, but I figured her current look was punishment enough.  Anyway, that's how I celebrated WHAT's 1 year anniversary, by being called a landscaper. 

Either way, it's been a great year and this next one is gonna be even better.  Maybe by next November 6th I'll look like the manager of a landscaping company rather than an actual lawn mower.