Hans and Poll #23

As you all know I had a poll last week asking which kind of pet I should get and 24 of you voted.  More importantly, 8 of you voted for a lizard and I never ignore my followers, so what did I do?  I bought a lizard.  Yup, that's right.  I bought a god damn lizard and he's fucking awesome. 

WHAT followers, I would like to introduce you to Hans Gruber!

He's the man right? Right!  If you guys ever want to play with him, you just come over and let him crawl all over you.  It's so fun.  He's got these little toes and they tickle your penis.  I'm kidding.  I just got him, we've decided to take it slow. 

Anyway, he's awesome and he's actually sitting on my keyboard right now and kind of making it hard for me to type.  Im gonna put him on my head.  There we go, that's so much better.  So anyway, a lot of you have been saying things like, he'll be dead in two weeks and i bet he doesn't survive until New Years.  Well you know what?  I can't wait for you to have a baby.  Cuz i'm gonna come to the hospital and say the same thing and see how you feel, ya jerks!

Ok, I'm gonna go hand feed Hans some baby food now and then it's bed time for the little guy.