A Special Weekend Post

I saw a guy with frosted tips today.  Didn't know that still existed.  Weird.

And We Have A Winner!

The 10,000th hit has come and gone and I'm proud to announce the winner of the contest was a good friend of mine, PJ Thompson. This is not PJ's first time on WHAT though. In fact I'd you recall from Mr. 3,000,  PJ was also WHAT's 3000th hit as well.

He is on his way to becoming the first member of the Follower Hall of Fame.  This will consist of a limited number of true fans and hardcore followers, so if you even want a chance at getting in, I'd step up your shit.

So back to the contest.  Here is PJ's winning picture.

Also, as soon as I received the picture of #10,000, I shipped PJ his prize (wrapped in tinfoil of course.). Being the nice guy that he is, PJ took a picture of himself wearing his WHAT T-shirt so that I could post it.

 I  dunno about you, but I think he looks great.  I'm drunk tho so don't take my word.

Milestone Time: Who's it Gonna Be?

Well well well... a lot of you people didn't think this day would come.  In fact, I was told that after 3 weeks, I would lose interest and this blog would die.  Well guess what, we just passed the 4 month mark a couple days ago and now we're tiptoeing up to the 10,000 hit line.  My question to you is who is it going to be?

Will it be you Bleeding Balls? One of my most frequent commenters.

Will it be you Frank Reynolds?  My guest poll designer.

Will it be you Kiran?  The only guy that "Likes" my links on Facebook.

Whoever it is, I wanna know! I need mother flippin proof.  Next time you're on WHAT, you check the ticker at the bottom and if you see 10,000, you snap urself a little photo and email it to me at WHATblogspot@gmail.com (for those of you who don't have email on your phone, you can still send a picture message to an email address)

If you send me a picture confirming that you are the 10,000 hit, you will get a one of a kind WHAT T-shirt that will look something like this. 

Oh and by the way, you can only win if you're a follower. So good luck every one.  And let me leave you with the words my mother always told me when I was growing up.  "Adam, if you don't wet the bed tonight, you'll get a prize."

(It was always a bouncy ball, yet since they wrapped it in tinfoil I had no idea what it was)

Throwback #3

Well, what ever day I wrote this Facebook note Throwback was the day I decided to become a movie critic.  Apparently not a good one though as you'll see in Rookie of the Year is so Stupid.

So I'm sitting here watching Rookie of the Year and it hits me that this movie is just so dumb. Here are my reasons

1. A pitcher who only throws a fastball, no matter how hard will not succeed.
2. Rowengardner supposedly throws upper 90s but when the ball is getting to home plate it is moving downward. He's not throwing hard.
3. In the last game, Henry is in the dugout when he is told he's pitching the next inning. A starting pitcher needs much more than half an inning to get his arm ready.
4. Why the Yankees simply buy Henry from the cubs? Why wouldn't there have been some sort of trade involved? Who is he, Babe Ruth?
5. Why cant the manager just remember his fucking name?
6. Why is every player on every other team the dumbest person in the world?
7. His mother is ugly.
8. Are henry and the rocket the only pitchers this team has? You'd think in game 7 of the NLCS, they'd have some pitching ready.
9. Its so stupid, I'm wasting my time writing about it, which means I'm stupid. Which makes this movie even stupider if someone who is equally as stupid can recognize its stupidity.
10. I just farted.

Pretty solid list. Especially about numbers 7 and 10.  

 

Spreading Like Crabs (With Less Itching)

WHAT is on Fire! The last time I updated you guys on how much this blog is spreading through the world, it had been read in 31 states and 23 countries.  Since then we've picked up 4 more states and 4 more countries.  I'm still waiting on Alaska, Washington and Nevada, so lets go! If you know anyone in Alaska especially, link them up and make them a follower.

As far as the countries recently added, we've got Peru, Denmark, Austria and Poland.  I'm amazed that we haven't gotten Mexico yet.  Vamos mis amigos!

Updated List of Countries

North America: USA, Canada, Aruba, Puerto Rico
South America: Brazil, Argentina, Venezuela, Peru 
Europe: UK, Spain, France Germany, Greece, Switzerland, Denmark, Austria, Poland 
Asia: ARMENIA, Russia, India, Japan, Indonesia, Malaysia, Israel, Singapore
Africa: Egypt
Australia: Australia

I'll make you guys a blog deal.  If we can get this blog into 40 states and 30 countries by the end of February, I will personally mail all of my followers an autographed WHAT Blog clementine.  Inside two of those blog clementines will be a golden blog ticket.  With this golden blog ticket, you will be given the privilege (that just took me 7 tries to spell) to take a day long tour through my Blog Factory.  You can eat a handful of Blog straight from the Blog River.  Or you could look at some of the new Blogs currently being worked on in Blog R&D, including a blog all about a guy who sings to himself.  You may even get to pick a ripe Blog from one of our Blog Trees or Blog Shrubs.  Finally, to wrap up the day, we'll take a spin around the factory in my Blogmobile, which is powered purely by Blogoline.  It’ll be blogtasticarooni.

Fact: The percentage of words that were blog or had the word blog in it in that last paragraph was 11.2%

P.S. Check out the new pages located above, Contact Me and About Me.

Really? $1.90?!

So being the healthy minded guy that I am, I went to the gym the other day where I had the most pathetic, useless workout of my life.  I then decided to follow that up with a nice trip over to Taco Bell.  I know right? What better way to follow up a terribly unproductive workout than to suck down a chicken burrito and a 5 layer beefy burrito.  Anyway, I'm sitting there in the drive thru lane and it is just taking forever.  I mean this woman is sitting there, talking to the screen, looking around, talking to the girl in her car for like literally 5 minutes.

At this point I'm thinking, "Come on! I need to eat a mexican pile of shit! Let me order!"  I was so tempted to beep at her and tell her to hurry the frank up. Instead, I rolled down window to try and overhear their conversation and maybe figure out what the hell is taking so long.  I roll down my window just in time to hear the Taco Bell Employee say, "So that will be two crunchy tacos.  You're total is $1.90."  WHAT! $1.90!? What the hell was going on up there?! Like seriously, what could've happened for 5 minutes that would result in an order of just 2 crunchy tacos.  It boggled my already semi-boggled mind. (previously boggled by trying to explain why I was eating at Taco Bell in the first place)

Of course, she decided to wrap up this whole ordeal by only pulling up about 5 feet, keeping me from being able to order, and then sitting there until I beeped at her.  Jesus. 

Poll #10

As you may recall, I allowed my cousin to make this poll because he thought my last poll was below average.  Well you know what?! At least my poll had a result! Who the fuck wants a poll that ends in a tie? No one! That's who! What an idiot!

For those of you who voted for the giraffe in your car: What the hell is wrong with you? Seriously? A giraffe? In you car? Do you even understand how big a giraffe is? There's absolutely no way a giraffe would fit in your car with you! You wouldn't be able to drive anywhere you idiots.  To be honest, I bet most of the people that voted for the giraffe were girls just to avoid having the gecko in ur hand during sex.  I don't know why though.  He's a smart, cultured, insightful person.  Just cuz he's a guy doesn't mean he's not going to have some good pointers for you.  Let's go. Figure it out.

Cosmo, You're an Idiot

Well, now that I'm an integral part of the publishing industry, I find it important to stay up to date on a lot of different mediums.  Anyway, I'm not sure if you guys were aware of it or not but the other day, the magazine Cosmo made the extremely bold announcement that "The Thong is Dead."

FUCK! THAT! SHIT!

Are they out of their minds?  That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  That's like saying fantasy football is dead or the Big Mac is dead or Pogs are dead.  Well I guess the last one doesn't really fit but you get my point.  It's never gonna happen.  Thongs have been woven into the fabric of this country just like democracy and obesity.  If we don't stand up and fight this as a united front, we will be doomed to encounter pantie lines for the rest of our miserable lives.

Comment and let me know who you agree with.

A Strange Partnership

I was out at a bar the other night waiting in line to go #1 and I watched twice as a pair of girls went into a single bathroom together.  This is something I just cannot comprehend.  Why does this happen?  Are they afraid to be alone?  I mean its a single bathroom so it hard to believe they are concerned about their safety.  Is what they are talking about so important that they can't put the conversation on hold for the 30 seconds it takes to pee?  Having listened to several conversations of Umass undergrad girls, I highly doubt it.

I mean even if they had a good reason to, which I'm sure they don't, it still doesn't take away from the fact that you're stuck in a single bathroom while your friend is peeing.  Guys never do this, ever.  Unless we're at a party or something and we all just go pee in the toilet, shower and sink that the same time but that isn't the case.  If we were to do it though, it would be a little less weird because we at least don't have to take our pants all the way down to get the job done.  It would be like going into a bathroom with one of my friends when he's going to do a twosie (assuming it's not going to smell, in order to equalize the situation) It just doesn't make sense to me.  If you're a girl, and you do this, please explain to me the reasoning you use when you do this. 

I Owned That Girl!

So this took place I think back in October.  I dunno why I waited so long to write about it but it was friggin awesome.  I think I maybe just forgot that it happened until just now.

So I was sitting in traffic on Route 9 one day on my way to school.  I look to my left and see a girl with a book bag on, sprinting up the street.  Right off that bat, that's funny enough.  Everyone looks like an idiot running with a book bag on.  Anyway, I realized that she was running to catch the bus.  I saw that the bus closed its doors and started to pull out, so the girl slowed down to a walk, head held low in defeat.

Then! The bus stops as someone else tries to get on.  This girl sees this as her last chance to get on the bus.  So she turns on the jets again and starts sprinting up the street once more.  Again, the doors close and the bus goes to pull out.  And once again, she slows her pace, breathing heavily and sad she's going to be late for class.

Now, as I mentioned before, I was sitting in traffic and the bus was trying to pull into my lane.  The bus had no where to go so it jut sat still and this is when it happened.  For the third time, this girl put the pedal to the medal and sprinted up the street in a last desperation attempt to catch this God forsaken bus.  Now this is where I come in.

The only reason that this girl still has a chance to catch this bus is because no one is letting the bus into the lane.  I think to myself, "Well Adam, here's your chance to ruin this girls day."  And so of course I took advantage of it.  This girl finally, after starting and stopping 3 times, sprinting nearly 150 yards, gets within about 15 feet of the bus.  I hit the brakes, give a quick flash of my headlights and allow the bus to pull out, leaving this girl behind, exhausted and dejected.

That was awesome!! I was so excited.  I immediately called like 3 people and told them the entire story.  Good times.