Come on Hands! Get with It!

So, it was a nice Wednesday morning.  I woke up before my alarm around 7:15 AM.  I checked my clock and laid back down, a little nervous about my two presentations that I had to make that day.  The first of which began at 8:15 AM.  I closed my eyes and expected to get 10 more minutes of sleep before my alarm went off at 7:25.  Again, I wake up, this time to birds chirping outside my window (not really but it adds to the story) and I check my clock to see how much time I have until my alarm goes off.

8:01 AM. FUCK.

Oh ya. It's time to freak out.  Keep in mind,  I usually give myself 20 minutes to leave my house and get to class on time.  I now have 14 minutes to get out of bed, get dressed, and get to class on time.  Luckily, like the little weirdo I am, I have my shirt laid out on my futon and my pants and socks laid out on my computer chair.

I jump out of bed faster than I start dance circles (which is really fast) and immediately grab my pants.  I slip them over my feet and pull them up and begin to try and button them.  Normally, this wouldn't be an issue.  But for some fucking reason, both of my hands are asleep.  What are the odds?  Seriously.  I'm yelling at my hands, "Come on! Come on!"  Shaking them so violently trying to get them to function even at like 20% capacity.  I give up on doing my pants and grab my socks and somehow slip them on.  I get my undershirt and shirt on and by that time, with my pants by my ankles, my hands have woken from their slumber and I am able to get my pants on.

I look to my deodorant which is on the other side of my room.  Well fuck that.  I pack up my computer, grab my keys, phone, wallet, bottle of water, and my belt, throw 8 tic tacs in my mouth and run the fuck out to my car knowing I have a little tube of toothpaste in there from the dentist.  I start the car, back out of my driveway at 65 MPH and burn down my street. (Not really, my car has been running horribly and it was sputtering the whole way down my street.)  I throw some toothpaste on my finger while I'm stopped at a traffic light - mind you, a traffic light that I hit while it is green nearly 95% of my time.  I race through 2 more yellow lights on my way and ignore 3 separate crosswalks with people waiting to cross them.

Somehow I make it to my parking lot with 3 minutes to spare so I hop out of my car and do the back pack run.  That's right.  The most embarrassing run of all time.  Running with a back pack will never look good cuz you do the same thing every time.  You grab the straps with your hands and pull them down so your bag bounces as little as possible.  You take full strides yet you stand up straighter than you're normal run for no known reason.  Also, for some reason there seems to be a little more of a bounce in your step than usual.  All in all, the back pack run sucks, but it did get me to class in time.

Turns out my presentation wasn't until the end of class and the only thing I got to class on time for was to receive my awful grade on the quiz he was handing back that day.  Hooray!