Big Foot Wuz Here

So, I was at the bar this past week and as usual, I was drinking beer.  Now, most of you know this about me already, but some of you may not so I thought I'd inform you that usually when I drink beer, I end up having to pee later.  So eventually after a while, I had to pee and when I'm at the bar, my absolute favorite place to go pee is in the men's room so that's where I took myself. 

That is where this story took a scary yet mysterious yet intriguing turn.  As I stepped up to the urinal, I looked around to take in my surroundings, get a real feeling for the bathroom you know?  That's when I saw it - the scariest, grossest, most peculiar thing in the world.  A pube the size of a fork! That's right! Look at this mother whattin' beast!

What monstrosity of a man left this behind?  And possibly an even more interesting question, how the hell did it end up on the top of the urinal, which is about 4 feet high.  Let's think about this.  First of all, this has to be the hairiest man on Earth with absolutely no manscaping capabilities/considerations.  Second of all, he needs to be tall enough that a pube could fall out and still land on the top of the urinal. 


Looking at all the facts, it's pretty clear that there's really only one possibility.  Big Foot stopped by Rafter's in Amherst, MA to catch a football game and drain the lizard.  What else could have left something like this behind?  Nothing.  That's what.  If anyone has any more information on this story, like when Big Foot was there and if he'll be back soon, I'd love to hear about it.

P.S. You should note that the fork wasn't there when I saw the pube.  There's just no way to see the pube's true size unless there is something to compare it to.