Southie and Jorts

Southie is an interesting place.  It has a nice beach, some nice places to live, and some really "nice" people.  The reason I put nice in quotations is because I didn't actually mean nice.  I meant absurd. 

This morning, I was walking out of my favorite Dunkin Donuts in the world (got my same breakfast for $5.08 today and $5.85 yesterday) and I had to walk past two groups of guys on the way back to my car.  Between the two groups, there were 9 guys, 5 in one and 4 in the other.  Between those 9 guys...there were 5 pairs of jorts!! 3 in one group and 2 in the other!! 5 pairs of jean shorts between 9 guys!!! That's...that's... uhh... 55% of the group! (had trouble finding my calculator. 

That 55% is just staggering.  I mean you've got to assume that only 10% of the world's population even owns jorts so to think that this group is at 5.5 times the world wide percentage is just ridiculous.  Now from a distance, I was very surprised to see such a collection of these fashionable duds, but as I got closer, and was able to hear their conversations, it made more sense to me why they were wearing jorts.


The first group I walked by, 4 guys, 2 jorts, 50% jortification, was honestly dropping N Bombs like it was their jobs.  Now, I'm sure no one was actually paying them for it, but if they were, they'd make a good living.  I mean, I could hear their conversation for about 9 seconds and I'm pretty sure I heard 4 Ns.  Keep in mind, this is just outside of DD's on a busy street where I saw a couple of black guys just a few minutes earlier.  Hmm..

The second group I walked by, 5 guys, 3 jorts, 60% jortification, wa on a different topic but equally as unsurprising.  Parole.  "This fucking bitch kept me from getting paroled for 6 months" was the exact line I walked by and heard.  What a bitch.  You mean to tell me, some piece of shit kept you in the clink where you were unable to show off your jorts!  I hope he shanked her with a shiv when he got out.  Or do you shiv someone with a shank?  I dunno. 

All I know is that Jorts + Parole + N Bombs = Southie.  Thank god today is my last day at my internship.