See You Next Tuesday

I wrote this a few weeks ago, and in case you couldn't tell, i wrote it the night it happened at 4 AM.

Wow.  So tonight, a girl that my friend likes was visiting and so being a good friend that I am, I agreed to go out with him and hang out with this girls friends.  You know, wing man it up.  This girl mentioned that these weren't her best friends, nor were they her hot friends, so I showed up totally expecting to meet a couple bridge trolls and be on my way.

Instead, we show up and find two of the 4 of them are smoke shows.  So me and my other friend are fuckin sittin pretty, riding this wave of good fortune.  We get to the bar, walk to the dance floor, and me being the outgoing, studly, masculine, sexual, ferocious, bodacious guy that I am, I walk onto the dance floor expecting these girls to be a good time.

I've never been so wrong in my life. EVER.  I swear!  That includes the time I said, "There's no way Elton John is gay!"  I still swear, I was still more wrong about these girls being fun.  For the first 20 minutes of the night, they stood in the middle of the dance floor, huddled up like a bunch of CBags calling their next 3rd down play, not speaking to anyone or even daring to make eye contact with anyone outside of the huddle. It was mind boggling.  Like get the fuck out of the way so fun people can actually have some room to work. 

To top it all off, we ended up back at the Castle of C**** at the end of the night before they actually arrived.   (Since they were hot bitches, they of course were off finding a Home Depot full of Tool Bags to hang out with)  So as my friend's "friends" showed up at the house, one of the girls, known as Slammer, tried to introduce us to the two guys that came with them.  Now, keep in mind, we had been with this girl for the past 3 hours.  I asked her to introduce us by name, and she simply declined.  Highlight of the night was calling out this fucking idiot for not even knowing my name, and pretty much proving everything I've said here so far.  But to be honest, it still sucked.  I can't even get the slam pig of the group to remember my name, not a good sign.

Bottom line, I spent time tonight with the absolute worst group of girls in the world.  They're not fun, or cool, or interesting, but they're good looking and they're going to get the attention of the rest of the world.   90% of the people that encounter them, will realize exactly how miserable they are.  The other 10% are just fucking iziots.  Eat it.