OMG...Shut The Frank Up You Two _______________ Idiots!

I know i know, its been forever since I posted.  I've treated my followers like crap...blah blah blah, shut up! I'm freaking busy man. It's exhausting being this awesome (Laughery, pg. 301).  Shredding the pow, high fivin peeps left and right, its crazy up here.

Anyway! I'm back and I'll try better to keep up with you iziots.  I was home this weekend for Thanksgiving and had a great time.  Saw my friends from home who are awesome and saw another 150 people i went to high school with who are not so it was a good balance.  

On my flight home I sat next to this _________ couple.  (Fill in the blank with which ever race/ethnicity you'd like, I'm not trying to offend anyone.  Anyway, I'm sitting next to these two people and its not so bad to start.  I'm watching some TV on my computer, enjoying myself a little Psych.  After 2 hours, my computer died and I had nothing else to listen to so I took off my head phones.  This is when I realized these idiots are watching tv on their computer WITH THE VOLUME ON! On a freakin full flight, they're sitting their with subtitles in _______________ just straight up volume blasting.  It was un freaking believable.

Finally, their computer died so they can no longer watch their stupid sitcom made specifically for __________ people.  But did this quiet the Loudski Family? Of course not. Now they're just talking at full volume in freaking ___________ or ___________, I have no clue.  All I know is I'm trying to sleep, and these butt stains are yelling about god knows what! 

I just don't understand these people.  Is this what all flights are like on Air __________.  Like if I fly into __________ am I just gonna be listening to 40 different TV shows and 60 different conversations?  Or are these two _________ idiots just so dumb and ignorant that they don't understand that other people have ears.  I guess I'm just gonna have to go buy a ____________, hop on a plane to ___________, order the traditional plate of _____________ and punch everyone of these fucking idiots in the head.

The _______________ End. 

Really?! Turns out 57% of my Friends are DBags

So as you all know I put up a new poll last week in which I asked if you all would be coming out to visit me in Denver. At first it was a good start, 2 for Yes 1 for No.  Then it happened. As the votes poured in (ha ya all 14 votes, suck it for not voting by the way), it started shifting towards "I'll Say Yes but I Mean No."  What the flip flop! I got a bunch of dick head friends that are gonna tell me they're gonna come visit but they're just lying!

I didn't think it could get worse but then it did.  I even had someone lie about lying on the poll.  One person switched their vote from Yes to Yes but No.  So half way through the poll this person thought, "well I said yes and I meant it, but now, I'm a piece of shit and I'm gonna keep telling him yes but secretly I'll never go visit that sexy piece of awesome."

The real question is why wouldn't you want to come visit, not why would you lie about wanting to come visit.  Denver is the illiest of all illy places.  For all my single girl friends, they call this place Menver cuz there's so many guys up in this joint. AND NO THAT'S NOT WHY I LOVE IT HERE.  For all my single dudebros, who ever started calling it Menver is an idiot, this place is loaded like a river during the trout run.  And for all of my fly fishermen friends (not sure who you are) the rivers are loaded like girls in a Denver bar!

Oh and anyone that isn't single, you can still come too.

So now that I've convinced you all, here's a checklist of things to bring on your trip.

1. Snowboard/Skis - by the time you get here I'm gonna be shredding like a fucking Cuisinart Cheese-O-Matic and I want you to come with me
2. Bring oxygen tanks - Holy shitting shit the air is thin up here.  Been running about 15-20 miles a week this summer, ran 15 feet and my lungs had a heart attack.
3. Bring a snow shovel - it snows a lot here and I hate shoveling.
4. Bring your liver - this place is just full of microbreweries and coors light and if you've been reading my earlier posts, you know I've taken full advantage of both of those.
5. Bring money - not cuz its expensive here but because I'm broke and I'm prolly gonna try and rob you. Thanks.


See you soon assholes!